Hardest blog ever but still positive

Well here goes
You may have noticed I have not blogged for a while , that's because I have been getting on with life.

But unfortunately the powers that be have decided that they will throw another spanner in the works,
I have been having headaches and funny stuff in my eyes, so mentioned it to my oncologist and was sent for an MRI on my head ,

It's not good news the little fookers have decided to set camp up in my head and have made a camping site 3cm big on the back left which affect vision , only one area for now, which apparently is a good thing I will be having surgery on the 19th as they are confident it can be cut out and then treatment with radiotherapy to mop up the stray cells that may be around  , I have been banned from driving and I'm back on steroids to stop the swelling.
This is classed as stage 4 cancer, they tell me is treatable but not curable .

I had a ct scan to see if they are camping anywhere else and it looks like there is an area on my liver , not sure how big but at moment not causing me any issues, and a spot on my hip bone and a lump under my arm I had my mastectomy on.
These will be treated and hopefully shrunk or stopped from growing by chemo of one for or another, this will be sorted offer my brain op prob in new year.

My new life will now consist or regular scans and treatments tailored to the growth of the tumours.

I have met ladies that have had these ops and have been back at work 3 months later and they have it in other areas of their bodies so are on regular chemo either by IV or tablet, but they are living their lives to the full potential and have been for years.I have found sites where ladies have lived with this 10 years plus, I realise that I will not make a pension age but it is not a guarantee as the amount of new treatment out there coming through is amazing ,

We have know for just over 4 weeks now and we needed this time to understand what this mean for us and what treatment I will be getting, I feel that I have come to terms with
 a lot of this and my view on life is now live every day as it comes, no one know the future weather you are ill or not and it's wasted energy and effort spending time on what ifs and whys, yes we have had some hard conversation but they needed to be said and once out in the open it means they can be
dealt with so that we can get past that and onwards.

I believe even more in positive thinking and that your body and mind can help you battle this .

I am still me , I feel very positive about the surgery and for my future, i will take everything they can throw at me ,I am not ill at all , I feel fit and well and I spend a lot of time doing mindfull thinking and living in the moment.
The past is gone , no one knows the future all you have is the here and now and that is how I will be spending my days.


I will be blogging regular again now, do not be afraid to contact me I still don't bite (I may do after they radiotherapy my head lol) , I still need friends to tell me of their days and troubles and life has not stopped , coffees and meals and drinks ,

LIVE LOVE LAUGH