It could only happen to me

Woke  this morning with a temperature , not good as that means a trip to the hospital, I suppose it was inevitable as mike quite ill with temp and cold , Olivia been ill with infections and Naomi ill with cold symptoms as well , as I am coming in to the part of my chemo that means I have no immune system.only a matter of time

I feel quite well but I have a cough, so at 9.30 I book my self in to A&E at Leighton , get seen really quick and they get me in to an isolation room on A&E

They take bloods , give me an X-ray , ECG, hook me up to all killing antibiotics,
Bloods come back as low white sells , well derr lol

Been here 7 hours and I think I'm bedding down in A&E as they have brought me a proper bed as there is no side rooms on the wards.

Well this will be interesting spending Saturday night in A&E , not much sleeping going to get done , I do not think.

I did pack a bag ready for an over night stay, and I did pack my head phones and my iPad , can u tell I used to be a girl guide ,

Mike sent me an NHS food survival kit
It contains
4 butties
2packest of crisps
Can of pop , ( could have done with more than one at 1.30 a bottle here  lol
A large bar of galaxy
A cake

I would put a pic but as doing this on mobile 3 g I should be out of here before it uploads lol

it's all worth it

I stuck to my word and did nothing for 3 days , I slept and drank water, it was hard for mike as Olivia has not been very well either so he was nurse maid to both of us , but it paid off , I was able to haul my ass out of bed when Olivia did on Christmas Day ( which was around 8 as she was ill) ,

All the family came round , and we got surrounded by wrapping paper and Olivia's presents , I think she has really been spoilt this year , but she has been a really good kid and the end of this year has been really hard and she has coped very well , I'm such a proud mummy,

Christmas dinner was brill and tasty ( thanks aunt Bessie lol) oh yeh and my mother in law Lynette for cooking it and saving jessie from getting singed by the oven .


Been for my ultra sound scan this morning , the doctor had problems finding the main one and it was difficult to measure but on the largest part she could find it measured 8mm (it was 14mm) , because she had problems finding it I had another mammogram and she compared the pic and it has defiantly shrunk , so the days when I have heartburn, constipation, nausea , tiredness and even the blooming nurses that can't get a canular In makes it all worth it , so now we wait and see that they are going to do with me after my 4th chemo but that is not till the 11th jan , so now time to enjoy the time with my family and celebrate New Year's Eve and hope that 2013 hold better health for me and my family and friends

funnies from yesterday i forget to add

Chemo brain :

when i went in to see the doc , he tries to measure my lump so obviously this entails the manhandling of my boob , so he is is apologising about squidging it around then he says well its not a bad job hahahahahaha the nurse nearly died and me being me i laughed and said "bet it is " hahaha mike is looking at the wall by now hahahahahahahaah

back in the waiting room and another Jessie walks in , a bit older than me , but mine is better (hope she does not read this ooppp and sorry lol) i took a sneaky pic

then during my chemo (well before it started) and when I'm having my moment , when i whip my wig of because in having a hot sweat , i gave it to mike , he did not know what to do with it , he did not want to hold it as its like a rat and made him feel odd, he did not want to put it in my bag just in case it got scruffy and he did not want to put it on the table as it looked funny so he hung it on the back of the chair lol bless

an up and down day

Ok so it's time for my 3rd round of FEC just ready for Christmas, Olivia is spending the day with +Naomi Thomas at a garden center making pottery and visiting Santa for the 4th time ,
this is what she made , im well impressed

So we go early to @christie hospital and its not too long before I get my bloods done about an hour and then go to see the doc , he tells me its shrunk even more and the lump under my arm that was easy to find he can not feel it at all , they have decided to give me another FEC in jan then see what the ultrasouns scan shows next week if i need more ......so all amazing and all is normal up to now ,

So we go up stairs to the trial suit to get told that my chair is not booked there its been booked on to the NHS side , it seems that the guy who said he would sort it out three weeks ago did not ,

Now the NHS side is already 1hour delay as the computers have gone down and they are still waiting to get then up and running , so I get told I can wait for the NHS chair as I'm booked on or I can wait poss 2 hours extra to go on to the trial suit once they have a chair free, it difficult because of the drugs I'm having they have to be administered by a person not on a drip , so not only do I need a chair I need some one who can do the drugs.

After 2 1/2 hours i get a call to go to the NHS part at about 2 pm , my treatment was ment to be 11, I sit down and a nurse comes , and she seams to think that I have a problem with the needles and because of my hypnotherapy I do not have any issue well UP TILL NOW she tries  twice and the second one bloody hurt and I'm feeling a bit squiffy now , so she get some one else as they are only allowed to try twice, while this is happening my hubby is going as white as me lol .mike I love you loads, I know it's hard seeing some one go through this. But you are my rock and you showed that today xxxxx
A new girl comes and gets it in first time but by now my squiffy has turned to hot sweats and almost pass out stage , so it legs up and oxygen on and even my wig gets thrown to the side , after a few moments and a very sweaty head , the oxygen is working and I managed to stay conscious .
I think I will ask for oxygen every time lol ,

We leave there around 3.30

Now I'm back home after picking Olivia up , I got a lovely bunch of flowers from +Naomi Thomas
 and Olivia

 Now I'm officially on strike , sleeping and drinking loads of water to get my self ready and as well as I can be for Xmas day with my lovely family .

have a fabd xmas and a happy new year , but i will be blogging over the festive period xxxxxxx

it's been a good day

Day started off very cold -5 in the car but I was off to work to do the secret Santa,

I popped in to my usual Costa coffee to get a take out , I had made an effort and done my make up and I had Jessie on , on the way out I got a wolfe whistle and got asked for my number , I shot him down in one fail swoop of course but what an ego boost lol, I'm 42 bald with dodgy boobs and some bit of totty wants my number hahahahahaha

Once I got to work we did the secret Santa and this what I got:

 

Hahahahahaha even more excuse to spend time in Costa plus now when I get more Costa pods for my tassimo I can now enjoy a snack at the same time , thanks Santa (Sam)

 

I love going in to work (for a social visit) i get loads of hugs and i love catching up with you all, its nice to show my face and really show how well i am doing, i am still thinking of going back and doing admin stuff , if they can sort my systems out in time i may come back in the new year on my good days . 

I also got a belated birthday present from my friend Steph,
................................there is a story to this ,

she had got me some things from the body shop and after reading my blog last night and seeing my bald picture she realised  she had bought me hair stuff lol so quick present change and I got this and it smells fab xxxxxx thanks mate you do make me laugh

 

plus a pic of my lovely birthday flowers now in bloom

 

 

because. I'm worth it

Since I have had this horrible c thing , I have realised that I'm worth a lot more than I was treating my self

So yesterday , I went out with Naomi ( future sister in law) and we had a pampering session, facial, pedicure , hand massage , there was a back massage included but I'm not able to have that as it stimulated the blood flow and I was told that it could possibly feed the tumours and I don't want that as its shrinking, thank you millions , its was relaxing and helped me sleep through the night and wake up feeling fab today

I think I will be doing more stuff for me with my family.

On that note as well I have an ultra sound scan on the 28th to check that the tumours have shrunk, we know the swelling around the area has shrunk loads so hope that the tumours have shrunk as well.

And I have had my nails done in Christmas colours, and I have spent a good amount of money on some amazing make up, I got the best wig I could find, every week I go to a hypnotherapist , its all about me now .

On Christmas Day I will be ordering every one from the comfort of my settee lol as my next chemo is the 21st

Tomorrow I'm going in to work to do my secret Santa , hope my Santa has not got me hair stuff lol

Now its time to spend time with my family and get past the half way mark on my chemo treatment .

On my c journey I speak to people that think I'm amazing , not really sure why as I just take every day as it comes and the way I am is just ME , I will not let this take over and I will be stronger than this thing, no question is a silly question , so ask away if you really want to ask,
I have been told that people are checking their breasts and that my blogs are being read by families and help people to understand someones cancer journey, every one is different and the chemo is different for every person i have friends that are on the same journey as me but have their own problems but what we all know is that we will all beat this, but if I can help anyone with this blog that also helps me to get through the hard days when I feel down and physically I'll which is usually the week after my chemo treatment.
people need to talk about it and make this a common conversation to raise awareness, its all about early detection.

It's my birthday

I'm 42 today and as bald as a coot, never thought I would be saying that, side affects were harder this time and lasted a bit longer but they are wearing off slowly now and I'm chilling in the house today, not even trying to go out in the mad Xmas run.

my next chemo is the 21st so all I'm hoping is i am able to get out of bed to watch Olivia open her presents and for me to open mine.

We are having the family here for Christmas day and they are doing all the food and i will be chilling like lady muck shouting my orders from the comfort of the settee :)


you know i always try to look in the bright side , its tiggers fault, but other advantages I have found having c ( i have decided no longer to use a capital C as it dos not deserve the accolade of making it stand out ) ,,
 as i think of more i will start adding them on

• I can go out in the week when all the nut jobs are at work( not aimed at any one) lol
• Having no hair means when putting make up and moisturiser on I don't get it in my hair as I put that on after hahahahahaha.

I got a lovely bunch of flowers from my every loving husband and extremely grounded daughter Olivia
thankyou i love you both millions and squillions

A family ritual since Olivia was 1 is every year on all our birthdays we always have a Colin the caterpillar birthday cake from M&S it is the best chocolate cake ever, and who every birthday it is gets to eat his head

 

We also put the Christmas decorations up on my birthday weekend, best tree ever designed by Olivia

 

Because over Xmas I will not be able to dazzle people with my cascading curls of hair , I have done my other favourite thing and had my nails done be the lovely Laura Denton , these nails are totally me lol 

 

 

 

later we are off out for a meal , This will be the first time I will have been out on a social event since all that crap started, I looking forward to getting dressed up and really showing Jessie off as she deserves.

 

things start to calm down on week 2 and life gets back to normal, (well as normal as it can get)

 

Mike is going back to work next week, so i may be more bored and even considering on my good days going back to work, for my own head,plus there is only so much Costa you can drink

 so watch this space.

XXXXXXXXXXX

I must learn to take it easy

Day 3 after 2nd chemo,
I spent all day in bed yesterday, it's hit me a bit harder this time with the nausea and the tiredness but I do not think the cough I had helped and a few other side affect that you get we're still making me sick( I will not go in too much detail)

Got up today eventually and been out in the fresh air and yes had a costa lol
Came back home and decided to potter in the back room and make it usable again instead of being full of crap, so that my bro and his better half can stop over if they want a drink over Xmas,

Well I think I have over done it as I'm shattered now and not really done much ,
I did sort some photos out of my mum and they made me smile , she was a bugger.

I must learn to take it easy and eat more as thinking about it not had much food today, well it all tastes like ....... Well nothing at the mo ...... Cardboard may be tastier lol


Xxxx still triggering xxxxxx