Emotions riding high today, I was getting ready to go for my echo so I can go on the trial starting Friday , and I have a break down and I'm in floods of tears,
Not really sure why, may be because my treatment day is getting closer and yes I'm nervous and probably scared of the unknown side affects that I will have .
May be because since the first time I was told I had cancer I have been on such a whirl wind that I have not cried at all , every one else seams to have done enough for me .
So I have a really good cry and got massive hugs and cuddles from my ever loving husband and my beautiful daughter.
After we were talking (once I had composed my self) Mike said some thing that has stayed with me all day and made me smile :)
"He said he loves me for me and all the other stuff is just baubles and tinsel , my tinsel will grow back and I can have plastic baubles, he said once you take them off the Christmas tree you still have a tree, "
I have felt loads better today after that this morning and I know it's healthier to have these moments than just to suppress all the feelings,
Today I also got a call from st Luke's who offer free holistic treatment to help you get through the chemo and I'm going to see a really nice guy called Frazer on Wednesday who will help me deal with the stress of my first chemo treatment and hopefully through the others
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